Bigfoot's Bones


Almost from day one, Bigfootery as an organized enterprise has applied a series of Band-aids over the obvious objections to Bigfoot's existence. One of the fundamental objections is "Where are the bones"? This gets the following Band-aid; "dead animals are disarticulated and consumed by predators and scavengers thoroughly and quickly". Grover Krantz went as far as to suggest we don't even find bear bones in the wild, though the woods are known to be full of bears.

To this I say; BULLSHIT.

Though I remain intrigued by the possibility of Bigfoot, and have even spoken at several Bigfoot conferences, I'm really not a wilderness guy. Yes, Dana & I once camped overnight in the legendary Ape Canyon, but that's about it. Therefore it becomes all the more surprising to me that as a wilderness n00b, I've found animal bones in the wilderness on three occasions. The third set is shown here. Note that this section of vertebra is actually bleached white by the action of the sun. It's been there a long time. Granted, this was found on the plains of Wyoming, I think, but hey, according to John Green, the BFRO's database, and even R. Crumb, BIGFOOT IS EVERYWHERE. Well, his bones should be everywhere too...

I'll even go so far as to suggest that the genuine field guys probably find bones all the time, and simply don't mention it so as not to confute the holy canon set down by Grover Krantz. If they really don't find bones, then what are they doing wrong? Perhaps they are too busy "call blasting" or checking for "tree breaks" or "nests".

By and large, Bigfootery is a quasi-religious human social structure, whose persistent topics of conversation are all about the second-rate evidence that they have, not the fundamental lack of REAL evidence. For instance you will find gigs of computer storage devoted to Native American Bigfoot legends, but not one whisper of the fact that the close-to-the-earth First Nations peoples have no bones, hides, teeth, or anything that came from a Sasquatch.
But you know, I could be totally wrong, and will have to eat major crow someday. Perhaps the solution to the "no bones" problem is that Bigfoot is an invertebrate....